WRITTEN BY Amelia | Guest Writer | Jan 22 2018
Make Life Simple
A first date uniform may sound dull and clinical, but I'm here to tell you why it's actually pretty genius. Apparently, Steve Jobs and Obama felt the same. Ok; maybe not about dating uniforms (that I know of), but they did wear uniforms in everyday life.
I don't take the uniform approach quite as far. I secretly relish the daily ponder over what to wear - embracing my current mood or impulse, and British-ly considering the weather. However, I do apply their uniform logic when it comes to dating.
Having a first date uniform makes first dates easier. I'm more calm, confident, and more likely to be on time! First dates are nerve-wracking enough without the added 'what the fuck am I going to wear / I have no clothes / nothing looks good on me' panic. It's one less decision to make, and one less thing to stress about. It's tried and tested.
My first date uniform consists of:
#1 Dark blue, high rise jeans from Cos. Why? They're flatteringly tight, but have stretch, so if first date drinks evolve into dinner, I know I'll still be comfortable (read why I advocate for drinks only on first dates in My Guide to Internet Dating).
#2 Black, v-neck, silky, sleeveless top from Warehouse, half tucked into jeans. Why? The silky yet thick material feels sexy and luxurious. The half-tucked look shows off my waist, while making me appear far more laissez-faire than I am. Lastly, black hides sweat-marks (I'm an armpit sweater).
#3. A cover-up: a chunky, cream, Aritzia roll neck sweater in winter; a simple black cardigan in summer. Why? You can never trust New York heating or air conditioning to play ball.
#4 Mid-heeled shoes: black booties in winter; sandals in summer. Why? Wearing heels gives me the oomph I want on a first date. They make me sit and stand straighter, and definitely make my ass look better. I don't go so high that walking becomes difficult - plus many New York men err on the 'petite' side, so I try not to exaggerate that further...
Choose an outfit that makes you feel these 5 things:
- Comfortable - check you can breathe, sit and move freely
- Powerful - tune into how it makes you feel; you want a pep in your step
- Sexy - but not too sexy... I assume you want them to like you for your personality and not just your legs
- Carefree - avoid clothing with risks of nip slip, camel toe or VPL
- Yourself - be sure you still feel like you (and yes, you are all of the above!)
Second Date Smolder
What I said about not being too sexy goes out the window on date 2. You've lured them in on date 1 with your dazzling charm and understated outfit - now its time to sink the hook. Sex it up. It'll be a fun surprise after your comparatively demure date 1 uniform, and they'll be putty in your hands. In winter, my second date look is a black, low-cut, fitted sweater, tucked into a leather wrap around mini skirt, both from Aritzia. In summer, it's a sleeveless, ribbed vest, tucked into a playful denim wrap-around mini, both from Madewell.
Opt for an outfit that will make their eyes pop and their jaw drop. To help you pick, test a few options with friends who will tell it to you straight. Do this, and you'll be smugly sailing into date 3. Wear whatever the hell you want at that point. If you're really lucky, there won't be a need for any clothes at all...
I recently made a dating uniform faux pas... the error being that I didn't wear one. It was a fix-up with a handsome, bearded Jewish guy in advertising. It was a fix-up with a handsome, bearded Jewish guy in advertising.
Mistake number 1. I was working from home, and had organized a first-date coffee, squeezed in between calls. I ended up super flustered, and rushing to get ready.
Mistake number 2. I threw on a short blue skirt, with a never-been-worn-before, beige, sleeveless sweater top.
Mistake number 3. I was getting my hair cut that night, so couldn't justify blowing it out (nor was there time). I defaulted to a high pony.
The minute I entered the sauna of Manhattan, I regretted the sweater top. I pictured images of myself with plate-sized sweat marks bordering my pits. I was late, and couldn't turn back. I could feel my pulled-back hair frizzing and pinging sporadically, rebelling against the humidity.
We met on the street; he was very cute, and dressed sharply in black. I tried to play it cool as we strolled to Washington Square Park and sat on a bench in the pounding sun. I glued my arms to my sides, which felt awkward. I wished I'd done my hair. I was distracted, and didn't feel my usual, confident self. If only there was a cold alcoholic beverage to ease the heat, and my paranoia. As we hugged goodbye, no words were exchanged about a second date. I knew I hadn't brought the best version of myself to the dating table.
My bedroom mirror revealed that my sweat marks were minuscule - I doubt he'd even noticed. Had I stuck with my trusted first date uniform, I'm convinced the date would have played out 100 times better, and I'd likely already be pregnant with his perfect Jewish baby. Ah well.